Have you ever hesitated to give a compliment, fearing that it might be awkward or unappreciated?

I came across an article this week that explored the psychology behind compliment-giving and revealed some interesting insights.

In the study, researchers asked participants to compliment strangers on a college campus and found that those giving the compliments felt anxious beforehand. Those who experienced higher levels of anxiety were more likely to expect a negative reaction and worried about their ability to give praise.

The article also pointed out that people often underestimate the positive impact their compliments can have on others, while simultaneously overestimating how uncomfortable the recipient may feel.

Personally, I can relate to the participants in this study as I often find myself holding back on compliments. I appreciate positive things about others, but I don’t always share my thoughts. Sometimes it’s due to not wanting to interrupt a conversation or simply getting distracted. Other times, however, I hesitate because I sense that the person may feel uncomfortable since they rarely receive compliments well.

There’s also the fear of receiving negative feedback or facing disagreement. The person may deflect or disagree abruptly, which happens often in tennis. When you compliment someone on a great tennis shot, they might just shrug it off or come back with a self-deprecating comment. It makes you think twice about serving up praise on the court.

The mindset of the receiver plays a significant role in the exchange of compliments. Personal doubts and feelings of pressure can make it challenging to accept kindness from others. It’s not only about the sincerity of the giver or their choice of words; it also depends on the receiver’s readiness and ability to embrace the positive message.

Many individuals, particularly women, often struggle with accepting praise and being self-critical. This is because we hold ourselves to high standards and often feel like we haven’t met them, making it challenging to accept praise.

However, receiving a compliment can be an act of self-love, as it challenges our inner critic and the belief that we are not worthy. Sometimes, we may struggle because we fail to acknowledge that others see something valuable in us that we may not see ourselves.

Accepting praise takes practice.

As we become more mindful, we may notice how uncomfortable we feel when simply saying thank you without adding self-criticizing comments. This discomfort arises from unresolved aspects within us, such as underlying fears of rejection or not being accepted. However, gracefully accepting praise helps to release the energy of unworthiness that lives within us.

The study offers a valuable lesson. Be generous in giving compliments. Not only does it uplift the receiver, but it also boosts the giver’s mood.

So, I challenge you (and myself) this week to notice and express the positive thoughts we have about others. Let’s overcome our hesitations and spread good vibes with heartfelt compliments, creating a safe and accepting space for others to receive our kind words.

Thanks for reading!