Finding Empathy

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I’ve had a lot of time to reflect over the past couple of weeks while recovering from my bout with Covid. Binge-watching Netflix can only keep a person entertained for so long before they start to go crazy.
 
The illness left me feeling contemplative and depressed for over a week. I knew what I needed to do to speed up my recovery, but the fatigue was so overwhelming that all I wanted to do was stay in bed.
 
The biggest lesson I’ve learned during my downtime is that I took my good health for granted. I now have greater empathy for those who are sick. 
 
There are people who endure much longer and more debilitating illnesses than I did, yet they still find the inner strength to carry on. 
 
I recently read an article in Sensible Medicine where a doctor’s words resonated with me:
 
“It took a few decades for me to realize that true empathy takes work. It is acquired only through mindfulness combined with the experience of pain, illness, and loss. In short, empathy can be learned but not taught.” – Adam Cifu, MD
 
In the past, when my mom used to complain about her ongoing fatigue before her dementia diagnosis, I lacked empathy. I thought her lack of motivation and depression stemmed from a poor diet and not enough exercise. 
 
I struggled to understand her suffering. It’s easy to give advice when you’re in good health and have an abundance of resources.
 
This illness has shown me that my empathy was not as deep as I once believed.
 
Recovering from an illness is a huge challenge; the gap between your current state and your desired state of health can feel vast, and it can be difficult to overcome the resistance that stands in the way.
 
For me, I just needed a small sign of hope to alleviate my depression. A text from my doctor friend did just that. She said, “It will take time. Take it easy and rest if your body needs it. Hope to see you back next week.”
 
Somehow her words convinced me that I would feel better. 
 
While we can’t take away others’ suffering, we can offer them love, compassion, and understanding. 
 
I have friends and family that are battling various health conditions, but I haven’t checked in on them as much as I should.
 
My recent trip to Italy reminded me of my desire to live more simply, with less focus on the material world, and more emphasis on what truly matters – our health, relationships, and extending compassion.
 
In retirement, I’ve become too inwardly focused on pursuits like tennis and writing.  I used to make more time to cook for friends in need or volunteer when I was a busy working mom. 
 
After years of overextending myself, the pendulum now seems to have swung too far in the opposite, inward direction with my newfound free time.
 
Recovering from this illness has been a humbling reminder to appreciate good health, extend compassion to those suffering, and make time for simple acts of kindness that can brighten someone’s difficult day.
 
Thanks for reading! Sending you healthy vibes.