Why has it become so difficult to put our opinions aside to get along with one another?
Our need to be right can keep us from doing what’s right in our relationships.
Communication problems are often the root cause of relationship rifts. Social issues can shake our core and activate something deep within us. When the beliefs we hold true are threatened, it triggers a response that sends the body into a fight, flight, or freeze mode. Hearing opposing information can make it difficult to stay calm. Clear and respectful communication can be a challenge when we feel threatened or vulnerable.
Understanding the complexities of how and why our body reacts to opposing information is worth exploring. Our need to be right can bring up an old wound that never healed. Feelings of a time we needed to defend our honor. A time we needed to prove something to others. A time we needed to fight to be heard. It brings a need to have a clear winner and loser. Occurring most often with family, friends, and coworkers. Unfortunately, everyone ends up in a place where nobody wins.
When we’re stressed, we tend to lose objectivity and we can’t easily see another person’s viewpoint. Our impulse to react is strong and our own view narrows. When we need to prove we’re right it usually means someone else must be wrong. Proving someone is wrong feels like criticism, it can hurt their sense of importance and pride. As much as we crave approval, we dread condemnation more. It can open a wound and cause the person to get defensive and arouse resentment.
It takes more time and self-control to listen and learn from others. Open-mindedness brings better communication and understanding with those you value. Relaxing the urge to fight rather than be right.
Setting an intention to do the right thing, to show up as our best self, creates a positive experience for everyone. There’s only winning. Listening and learning from each other is the highest compliment we can give. Showing we care about their point of view whether we agree goes a long way.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Looking for the good is rewarding for everyone. We all struggle with our need to be right. We all suffer from childhood wounds that take us to a vulnerable place where we feel threatened by someone else’s words or beliefs.
Awareness of how we react to others and staying calm is key to getting along. It’s such a small thing we can do to make our world a better place.