Unmasking the Ego: Understanding Its Role in Your Relationships

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I hate to see people suffer.

It’s why I do what I do.

Energy healing.

As a blogger and energy practitioner, I share the tools that work for me to help others eliminate suffering.

It’s satisfying to share with others once you discover a simple solution to a problem. It’s why we’re here.

Giving back is as good for you as it is for those you are helping because giving gives you purpose. When you have a purpose-driven life, you’re a happier person.

I used to struggle with anxiety. Although I never labeled it until I started writing about it, the uneasy feelings of it accompanied me for most of my life.

Over the years, I learned how to manage it with food, supplements, exercise, and mindfulness. My feel-good fundamentals are the foundation of my mental and physical wellness.

Maintaining a balanced lifestyle is crucial; however, freedom from anxiety requires something more.

Harmony with the ego.

The ego shapes our identity, how we live, and how we interact with others.

It’s vital to understand it and make peace with it.

Unfortunately, this is the piece of the puzzle many struggle with.

We all have the power to feel free and live in peace; we just need to get out of our own way.

This memorable line from the classic film, The Wizard of Oz captures the message perfectly:

“Dorothy, you’ve always had the power, my dear; you just had to discover it for yourself.”

But what exactly is the ego, and how does it function?

When you hear “ego,” you might think of Donald Trump or someone at work bragging loudly. However, in psychology, the ego represents a part of your psyche that helps you navigate the world.

Have you ever wondered why you behave the way you do, even when you know it’s not good for you?

Well, that’s your ego at play.

Have you ever made excuses for your behavior or blamed someone else for your mistakes?

Congratulations, you’re using defense mechanisms!

Defense mechanisms are tactics your ego uses to protect your self-image and prevent you from feeling anxiety or shame.

Some common defense mechanisms include denial (pretending something isn’t happening), projection (blaming someone else for your flaws), rationalization (justifying your behavior), and repression (pushing uncomfortable thoughts or memories out of your consciousness).

 

These defense tactics play a significant role in our relationships.

Have you ever argued with a loved one and felt you had to be right?

That’s your ego talking. It’s tough to admit when we’re wrong or to put someone else’s needs before our own.

Many of us spend years living life this way, unaware of the unhealthy ego’s role.

We often cope with uncomfortable, uncertain, or even painful experiences by disconnecting from our hearts.

The beliefs and behaviors that develop over the course of our lives end up blocking our authenticity and blinding us to our divinity. This can result in living life on autopilot without conscious intention or awareness.

Life can become unnecessarily tricky when we live solely in our head in a programmed manner without the heart’s guidance.

 

The mind is a place where the soul goes to hide from the heart. — Michael Singersit amet consectetur adipiscing elit dolor

Michael Singer, one of my favorite spiritual teachers and authors, has written extensively about the ego. In his view, the ego is the voice inside our heads that narrates our experience of the world and ourselves. It’s the part of us that judges, criticizes, and creates stories about who we are and what’s happening around us.

According to Singer, the ego is not our true self but a construct we’ve developed over time to protect ourselves from harm and maintain control.

He believes the key to our spiritual growth is learning to detach from it so we can experience life more fully and authentically.

 

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst believed that the ego is a necessary part of the human psyche, developed in response to the environment, that helps navigate the external world.

Jung also thought letting go of the ego’s rigid structures was essential for greater self-awareness and personal growth.

The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego; the second half is going inward and letting go of it.

How to Make Peace with Your Ego

Once you understand your ego better, it’s time to make peace with it.

Don’t worry; we won’t be doing yoga or burning sage (unless you like that sort of thing as I do).

The ego is a necessary part of ourselves. Without it, we couldn’t function in society or make decisions. So instead of trying to silence it, let’s get familiar with it and do our best not to let it run the show.

 

Make peace with it by practicing being present and self-aware.

Mindfulness meditation can be a great way to tune in to your thoughts and feelings. But, if sitting in silence isn’t your thing, other energy-healing modalities will help you achieve the same awareness. I like Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping), for its ease and practicality.

 

Writing down your thoughts and emotions when you feel anxious can help you identify patterns and triggers related to your ego.

Your ego is not your enemy; it’s trying to protect you (even if it gets a little carried away sometimes). Understanding and accepting it, practicing self-awareness, and cultivating a relationship with that deeper part of you will allow you to make peace with your ego.

We each have what we need to live a peaceful life; we just need to know how to connect to our hearts, access our inner wisdom, and clear the unwanted parts of ourselves that don’t belong.

Thanks for reading!  

Love + Wellness