Just the other day, I found myself in an all-too-familiar scenario. There I was, enjoying lunch with two girlfriends when it happened – I caught myself narrating all the drama of a disagreement from months earlier.
As I recounted all the dirty details, it suddenly dawned on me: I’d shared this story one too many times. An unsettling feeling washed over me as I questioned why I needed to retell my troubles once again.
Have you ever caught yourself sharing a personal story only to realize it’s starting to feel counterproductive?
Most of us love captivating stories. We relish all the sorted details, the unexpected twists and turns, and the drama between hero and villain.
Whether we share our experiences with a trusted friend or replay them in our minds, it’s common for us to revisit the details of past events and all the emotions that came with them.
When someone hurts us, it’s common to find comfort by sharing our struggles. It lets us connect emotionally with one another, making us feel supported, understood, and validated. It’s a natural human instinct to share our experiences, especially when we’ve been hurt or wronged.
Our brains are wired to make sense of things that have happened to us.
It’s like our minds want to replay the movie so we can rewrite a different or more favorable ending.
It may be cathartic to air our grievances, but indulging in storytelling sessions too often might cause more harm than good.
We often run the risk of keeping past fears and anxieties alive in the present, resulting in blocked energy as we layer current emotions onto previously experienced pain.
Sometimes, embracing a “general” approach is best.
In Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) training, we learn a valuable method for helping clients feel safer and calmer when discussing troubling events: guiding them towards a more “general” outlook as they narrate their experiences.
By encouraging clients to narrate their stories using broader strokes rather than focusing on every minute detail, we created a safe space for them to express their thoughts. This approach proved to be an effective way to recall events without triggering difficult emotions.
Typically, EFT urges clients to share detailed experiences as tapping helps relax the nervous system and allows easier access to the root of the problem. However, in some cases, the event might be too emotionally challenging for the client, so a more general approach with tapping is used first.
Engaging in energy release therapy is crucial when reflecting on past events, as it prevents the brain from becoming retraumatized. During highly emotional situations, our minds can struggle to differentiate between past and present experiences, making it feel like the event is happening all over again and activating stress-related chemicals in the body.
Without practicing energy-releasing strategies, ruminating on past events can trap us in a cycle of negative emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration. This keeps us from seeking constructive ways to address problems and prevent our personal growth.
We are not our stories.
The part of ourselves that feels vulnerable, victimized, and seeks comfort is not our true nature; it’s simply the voice of fear within us that needs to be heard.
Fear is a distorted voice coming from a small and scared part of us that craves safety.
To move forward and let go of fear, it’s crucial to narrate our stories with less detail and adopt a broader perspective while discussing our past with others. This way, we avoid becoming stuck in the past and can focus on embracing an empowered, brighter future.
As my husband often says, “It’s not the end of the world, just the end of the week.”
….. until next time, many, many sweet blessings.
Love + Wellness to you!!
Lynn